With the rise in our understanding of mental health and the impact of stress in day-to-day lives, there’s a need for more support and awareness in the workplace. This Deep Dive’s guest speaker joined the conversation to share expertise for Mental Health Awareness month to help both individuals and leaders better understand maternal and parental mental health. The discussion included strategies to support mental well-being in parents, postpartum anxiety and depression (PPAD) in the workplace, and when to seek help.
We’ll summarize a few highlights, but feel free to watch on Instagram anytime! These Deep Dives happen every last Tuesday of the month at 2:00 PM EST if you’d like to join the next conversation live.
Amanda Hemm, Director of Parent Experience, spoke with Dr. Anne Welsh, Psychologist, Executive Coach, and Consultant, to discuss parenting and mental health. Dr. Welsh specializes in therapy for new parents, with a specialty in helping women in biotech, parental leave coaching, and workplace coaching for teams. She’s a certified executive coach through the International Federation of Coaching, Retain Certified Parental Leave Coach through the Center for Parental Leave Leadership, and a Peripartum Mental Health Certified through Postpartum Support International - which is how she and Amanda met and why they’re both so focused on helping people be successful working parents.
There’s such a need for more and more people doing this kind of work. Working parents need support to help them through transitions and the emotional wellbeing when they become parents (especially for the first time). Dr. Welsh shared that in her line of work, she sees there’s more attention on mental health in the workplace today than ever before, and being a parent is hard.
Even though we’ve come a long way from “refrigerator moms,” there are a lot of factors that lead to mental health struggles. It’s a massive transition to first become a parent, and then going back to work. They both are really big changes and while the job a working parent is returning to may be the same, there’s so much outside of that job that may not be easy when transitioning back.
Over the years, we’ve transitioned to a culture of work where it’s become expected, for mothers in particular, that they be 24/7 on-call and provide complete utter self-sacrifice. This is not sustainable, which is why mental health is being pushed to the front lines.
The workplace has shifted to support employees but not parents, and parental transitions are hard and uncomfortable. While often overlooked, moms still carry the brunt of the pressure to make sure their kids turn out okay. That’s a lot of pressure, making parenthood a very vulnerable time for families and parents. This then shows up at work because it’s a huge burden. Working mothers then face discrimination in the workplace when it comes to hiring, getting “mommy tracked,” or pulled off projects. We still have a long way to go for gender equity in the workplace that leaders need to consider.
New parents returning to work often struggle with who they are and how they fit all the pieces together. Dr. Welsh shared that she does a lot of work addressing the identity that was lost and helping working parents make room for themselves again. The Hierarchy of Mothers breaks down the different needs of people. The bottom tier falls mostly on mothers and primary caregivers, which is also a never-ending job in itself. This makes it difficult for working parents to progress up the hierarchy alone without support because responsibilities start over every day. When this happens, many working parents lose who they are.
Many working parents feel stuck in the bottom three tiers because they feel guilt if they prioritize themselves. Dr. Welsh shared that many feel that they are robbing their kids of their time and they’re missing out on their childrens’ childhood. Mothers, in particular, feel that they have to choose either themself of their child and that’s exhausting.
Another consideration is that there are many high achievers that are successful in the workplace because they don’t ask for help, they put the time in, and they get the work done. This is done by often giving up other things and self care, which may work early in their career, but are not sustainable when parenting is added to the mix. Everything that made them successful in a work environment won’t make them successful in a parenting environment, and there’s a clash of ways of existing and world views that gets really challenging.
To gain traction with her clients, Dr. Welsh often positions self-care and balance for their children. For example, do parents want their children to grow up thinking sacrificing self-care and overwork is the only way to experience life? Most parents want their children to have more balance. But this can be more challenging when there are mental health challenges.
Unfortunately, the prevalence of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) is very high. One in seven (15%) of women experience a PMAD, as do one in ten men (and that number goes up when their partner is struggling), making support even more important. PMADs are different from the “baby blues” and unfortunately, it’s rare for new parents to fully recover from a PMAD before returning to work. There are a lot of hormonal fluctuations in the first year, not considering the lack of sleep or consistent sleep patterns.
This is especially true if the PMAD comes after someone has returned to work and thinks that they’re okay. A PMAD can be a slow slide and creeps up on people so they don’t recognize it until too late. For some, going back to work could be that trigger that pushes someone over the edge of being able to manage it all. But a key takeaway here is that PMADs are very treatable. Here are a few tips and tricks to get out of this loop.
First, ask for help. There’s a spectrum of PMADs and mental health, and they can show up years after the birth of your child. Reach out to someone for help if you don’t feel you can enjoy your children, you can’t sleep, you’re too worried, or you have sticky (intrusive thoughts) and you don’t like it. If you’re feeling uncomfortable with the idea of a PMAD, think of it as emotional complications. What are the emotions that are complicating your life? If you don’t like the way it is, talk to someone about it. If you don’t know where to help, postpartum international has free resources and groups. They’ll connect you with providers, 24/7 urgent care lines. You can also talk to your OB and pediatricians or check out this free resource sheet.
Most people don’t want to talk about mental health, especially at work. If you’re managing a new parent or suspect some mental health challenges, approach everything with curiosity. Workplace policies and training don’t think about the specific timeline after parental leave. They assume everything is normal once an employee returns from leave, but that’s not the reality. Start with a culture of care for employees that starts at the top. This may include more flexible work policies, mentorship program, ERG, or extended parental leave. Despite common belief, your employees won’t take advantage of this flexibility.
Opening up communication is a big step to improving mental health outcomes, for both employers and employees. Join us on Instagram next month for a conversation on Fatherhood in the Workplace. We’ll be discussing the real stigmas seen and lived and how to bust them. Dads involved in parenting are better for moms and women in the workplace, as well as their families and greater community.
