As the holiday season draws near, working parents face the dual challenge of managing festive expectations while keeping up with daily responsibilities. From juggling end-of-year work commitments to handling the extra chaos of kids being home from school, the holiday season can often feel overwhelming. To navigate these challenges, Parento’s Director of Parent Experience, Amanda Hemm, sat down with Christy Lowry, founder of The Parents Table, for a deep dive conversation on how parents can find joy, peace, and simplicity amidst the holiday hustle.
Christy, a parenthood transition coach who helps parents in the early years navigate the complexities of life changes, shared her insights into the duality of emotions that many parents experience during the holidays. The holidays are filled with both joy and hardship and while it’s a time of excitement and togetherness, it’s also a time when grief, guilt, and stress can overwhelm.
Parents often feel the pressure to create a magical experience for their kids while managing their own emotions and responsibilities. Christy emphasized the importance of accepting these feelings without judgment and shared that it’s okay to feel conflicted. What’s important is to acknowledge the emotions and give yourself permission to feel them, whether they are joyful or difficult.
One of the key takeaways from the conversation was the need to prioritize what truly matters. Christy encouraged parents to reflect on what they truly want out of the season, not what society or others expect. “Be aware of your reality,” she advised. “What does your ideal holiday look like, and what’s going to help you create that? Separate out your ‘wants’ and ‘needs.’”
Amanda agreed, sharing that knowing when to simplify or adjust expectations is crucial. It’s important to recognize that not every tradition or expectation needs to be fulfilled. Sometimes, less is more, whether it’s skipping the traditional family dinner or forgoing elaborate gift-giving. Simplifying the season based on what’s most important to you and your family can lead to more meaningful and less stressful holiday experiences.
A major part of managing holiday stress is setting boundaries—both physical and emotional. Christy encouraged parents to establish clear limits, especially when it comes to social commitments. “Have a built-in margin,” she recommends. Make sure you have enough time between activities to decompress, and if not, don’t be afraid to say no or adjust plans. You do not have to say “yes” to everything.
This also applies to managing expectations within families. Amanda shared an example from her own family, where the value of presence over presents is often at odds with relatives who focus more on gift-giving. “We try to give smaller, more meaningful gifts, and focus on the joy of being together,” she explained. It’s important to communicate your values and set boundaries with extended family to make the holidays work for your immediate family.
In today’s digital age, social media can amplify the stress of the season, making it easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Christy highlighted how social media can steal our joy by showcasing idealized versions of family life. “Remember, comparison is the thief of joy,” she said. Instead of measuring your holiday experience against others, focus on what brings your family joy—whether that’s cutting down a Christmas tree or simply enjoying a quiet evening at home.
Amanda emphasized that it’s important to detach from the “shoulds” that social media and societal norms often impose. “If someone else’s family tradition looks perfect, it’s okay to acknowledge that it’s beautiful but not feel pressured to adopt it,” she said.
For many parents, the holiday season also highlights the complexities of balancing differing expectations within the family. Christy suggested regular check-ins with partners to ensure everyone is on the same page. “Communication is key,” she said. “Having a sync-up, whether daily or weekly, can help manage the logistics and reduce stress.” This helps ensure that both partners share the load and avoid misunderstandings.
For families with older children or teens, aligning traditions with their interests can help reduce friction. Amanda shared that her own children’s preferences had shifted over time. For example, she had the Thanksgiving menu planned and then asked her children what they wanted, and their responses surprised her. She thought she knew what they liked, but she realized it’s about staying curious and adapting to what brings them joy, rather than sticking to old traditions just because they’re familiar.
So to help you tackle the holiday season and have more wins than woes, here are a few takeaways:
Ultimately, the holiday season is about finding balance and creating moments of connection, not perfection. By being intentional, setting boundaries, and staying true to what’s important to you and your family, you can navigate the chaos and create a joyful, meaningful holiday experience.
